I'm excited to get to watch Bryce Harper for more than an at bat and can only hope he goes all Bam Bam on himself at some point during this series but if the Padres lose today, I will be extremely pissed that I wasted valuable tanning time to watch the game. Also for the record, I hate Tim Stauffer and I totally called Ramos' torn ACL during the game Saturday, looks like I might become a decent Athletic Trainer after all.
I'm conveniently ignoring the fact that Chase committed an error on the first play of the game because I'm still enjoying the fact that I correctly diagnosed Ramos' injury with only having had one actual Sports Medicine class. Go me. While I'm on the whole injury thing, why the hell is it necessary for Bam Bam to have that big ass bandage on while he has 10 stitches in his head covered by butterfly bandages?! I don't see the point in that considering neither his hat or helmet rest on it. Anyway, that error I conveniently ignored cost us an early run and now I get to watch Bam Bam. Which makes me wonder, does he even know who Bam Bam is?! This is a serious question. I feel like he is not old enough to know who that is. I also feel like he wouldn't get this next pop culture reference I'm about to make. When I think of him I imagine him being on second yelling "pitcher's got a big butt" like the kid did in Rookie of the Year. That just makes me feel old.
Alonso continues to get a hit while I'm not watching and like I have said before, I will continue to not watch his at bats for the benefit of the team. Bam Bam made Hudson look good which is something very difficult to do, almost as difficult as getting the Padres a W. That error on Bam Bam allowed Alonso to score and tie up the game in the second. During the bottom of the third I'm fairly confident I fell asleep with my eyes open because the next thing I knew, the Nationals were coming around to score. Headley is not having it today because he just fucked up the snap throw from Nick to score another run only to have Bam Bam come up and crush the ball, solidifying the fact that I indeed should have tanned instead of watching the game. During the fourth, Alonso scored followed directly by Chase making the score 4-3 Nats. In the processes of Chase coming home and me yelling at him because the catcher was clearly covering the plate and it looked like he would for sure be out, he managed to take out the Nats catcher, literally. Ankles aren't supposed to bend that way, I like it. I find it oddly pretty when body parts do things they aren't made to do. I can't even come up with an analogy to explain this to make me sound less weird. Also in that fourth inning, Stauffer laid down the bunt and tied up the game. After the ankle injury and the whole Padres tying it thing, I'm beginning to not regret watching the game over tanning but if this goes into a rain delay you can bet your ass I will regret it. Headley does work in the fifth to bring in Guzman to give the Padres 5-4 lead. Despite everything that has happened so far, I'm still bored with this game.
Mikolas gave up a two run double to make it 6-5 Nats in the bottom of the sixth and this is where I quote Rookie of the Year again... "Hey! We want a pitcher, not an underwear snitcher!" Luke gives up a HR in the bottom of the eighth putting the Nats up by two now. Pretty sure I did that whole falling asleep with my eyes open thing again because the last thing I remember seeing was Mikolas giving up the lead back in the sixth. Aaaaaand Luke just gave up another HR to make it 8-5 Nats. Fucking awesome, bro. Maybe I should have waited to use that quote. The Padres have the bases loaded with one out in the top of the ninth and I'm on the verge of holding my breath. Guzman hits into a 1-2-3 double play, if I'm thinking clearly, to end the game. Padres lose 8-5 and I wasted a valuable tanning day to watch this shit, not to mention we get to hear ESPN suck Bryce Harper's dick even more now. Not cool Padres, not cool.
Conclusion, I'm not that impressed with Bryce Harper. Yes, he's 19 and yes, he is a good player but I'm not seeing the hype surrounding him. It's not like he is the first player to make it to the big leagues at 19. Look at Henry Rowengartner, he was 12.
Record: 12-24
P.S. If you think I seriously think that Henry Rowengartner was a real person and that that was a real story, you need help.
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