Thursday, February 28, 2013

Warning: Ridiculous Post Ahead

I was just informed that Grady Sizemore is a free agent this season and you know what that means, it's time for another ridiculous "the Padres should get Grady" post.

Okay, so we all know that I adore Grady Sizemore and have since '07 and that him being plagued with injuries has heartbroken me. It really sucks to see a player, with as much talent and passion as Grady, be on the DL for more games than he's played in during a season... or seasons. Grady was always fun to watch and let's face it, he is an extremely attractive man. His defensive abilities were my favorite to watch when I'd get the chance to watch Indians games. Sure, his offense wasn't bad to watch either, at first, but it was his defense that sold me. I loved watching him layout to make catches or scale the wall to take away homeruns but with all the injuries those defensive skills are only a memory.

Now why would the Padres want someone so injury prone?? Well, they wouldn't but our team is already injury prone so we might as well have someone who is a fantastical player when they are healthy than someone who is only decent enough to play for the Padres when they are healthy. Besides, we know the Padres like to sign players that used to be great and now are mediocre at best. As far as I know, the Padres are working with Quentin, Maybin, Denorfia and Venable for their OF's once again. Honestly, I'd rather have a broken Grady than Deno and Venable. Grady has had knee problems but so has Quentin, we'd obviously need Deno and Venable to play backup in case a new injury occurs or an old one flairs up.

What's the harm in getting Grady?? Welp, I was going to say Grady is younger than Quentin so I'd have more faith in him getting back to his old self but I just googled it and they are the same age. So much for that theory. Yes, Grady plays center and yes, we have Maybin playing there but I'm sure we could move Grady to left or right and he wouldn't complain because, well, he'd be on a team. I highly doubt he is willing to give up on something he's worked so hard to get. I know I wasn't ready to quit gymnastics when I had to and I was just doing it for fun. Grady has mentioned before that he enjoys playing in Petco so there's that too.

There's a reason I said this was a ridiculous post, because I'm just throwing out my thoughts and not basing it off of facts or anything, just pure "I want Grady so I can have someone to stare at when the Padres are getting their asses kicked" ridiculousness. My first Grady post was a lot better and I apologize for this one. It's all over the place and like I said, ridiculous. Like, 38 kinds of ridiculous. With all the crazy I just wrote, I'd be probably die if the Padres actually did get Grady because this is all kind of a big joke to me. Yes, I want him but I don't see it ever actually happening. Hooray for ridiculously high hopes.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Calm Yo Tits, Games Are Back!!

Well today marks the first day of actual baseball games and guess what, the Padres won!! Not only did they win, they did it basically in the first inning. Now, unfortunately I didn't get to hear any of the game since I was hiding in my room, in the dark, and the At Bat app needed me to sign in but I forgot the log in info and yeah. I did get to follow along some on twitter and heard that Gyorko hit a fantastical grand slam. Clearly, that's all anyone needed to know about the game. That and that we won 9-3. Hopefully I won't be missing anymore Padres games now that I did the whole log in info thing for At Bat but ya know, I'll probably still be sleeping or something so don't expect many spring training game posts. Oh and FSSD posted a link somewhere on twitter for which games will be televised. Go find it because I already forgot where it is and don't want to search twitter for it.

Anyway, by the time I grabbed my laptop to get my log in information, the only game left to listen to was the Reds Indians game. The Reds were up by two going into the bottom of the ninth and the Indians hit a three run double to win it. Fuck yeah, Cleveland. I wish I was at the game because the announcers were finding it entertaining that no one was celebrating. Why wasn't anyone celebrating, you ask. Well that's because the Reds were trying to appeal at third. If I were at the game, I'd have been laughing my ass off and probably yelling at the Reds for that decision. Seriously bro, calm yo tits, it's the first game of SPRING TRAINING. These games mean absolutely nothing and there is no logical reason to appeal anything in them. Now you guys know I like the Indians and the Reds as well but I'm having one of my moments where I hate the Reds and want them to lose at everything so the fact that they appealed a meaningless game is laughable. This moment is most likely brought to you by the fact that I had a dream about Grady Sizemore, other circumstances may apply.


Friday, February 8, 2013

A Fitness Lesson From Chase and Myself... Or Something Like That

Chase Headley is an inspiration to workout. Okay, not really but kind of... I guess. Early today the Padres tweeted this picture of Chase Headley working out. About a couple hours ago, I tweeted this picture of me "working out". I put working out in quotes there because if you know me, I'm not a fan of working out or people constantly updating everyone that they are going to the gym or to yoga or announcing they are all of a sudden gluten free, meat free, dairy free, anything that tastes good free because it's the new thing to be. I have known fat vegetarians and vegans so if you think cutting out all the good stuff is going to make you skinny, know that there is a chance it won't work. I, for one, am whole heartedly for eating what you want and working out because you want to and not because it's the newest fad and you're trying to be like someone else. I will talk shit and make fun of you if you are one of those people. And no, I'm not encouraging you to be fat and not workout. I do believe you should workout but like I said, do it because you want to and not because you want to be like someone else. In other words don't do yoga because Jennifer Aniston does it and it works for her or P90X because you found out your favorite athlete does it and it works for them. If you want my opinion, choose a sport. Sports give you everything you need to eat shit and still look good, well it does for me. See, another example of one thing working for one person but not necessarily for you. In all seriousness, sports give you the cardio you need to lose weight, weight training to help you build or tone your muscles (if you're on a legit team)  and of course stretching to gain the necessary flexibility for your chosen sport. Plus it's a good way to release all your negative energy. Seriously, try going to a batting cage when you're pissed. Hitting the shit out of the balls will make you feel so much better or go to a boxing gym and spend some quality time with the punching bag.

Now back to the reason I started this post... Note the similarities, loads of Padres stuff from our clothes to the walls and us not looking at the camera. Clearly, we are focused on our fitness. Now note the differences, Chase has no spotter. I, on the other hand, have the wall. I'm pretty sure the first rule of weight lifting is to have a spotter to help prevent you from injuring yourself. Now, I'm not lifting 225 pounds without a spotter like Chase, assuming each weight is 45 lbs and the bar is as well, but I have in essence a spotter in the wall. Shocked I know that shit, huh?? Suck it, I've spent enough time in gyms to know what's up and to know they do absolutely nothing for me. Anyway, I'd liked to assume that the person taking the picture of Chase is his spotter and this was taken on his first rep where it theoretically is less dangerous for him to lift that weight on his own BUT that's just me and wishful thinking. Now, if I were to lose my balance, I was set up close enough to the wall to prevent me from completely eating shit. However, if Chase were to lose balance helloooooo DL.

After I saw that picture this afternoon I wondered if this was a normal thing for the Padres to do. Then I started remembering how many players were on the DL last season... it all makes sense now. Of course, this is just speculation as is anything I write about the Padres, unless stated otherwise. Still, it makes sense and after all  I was blaming the injuries on the strength and conditioning coach to begin with. Now, I just feel like I have proof to back that up. Though, I believe we don't have that coach anymore. I had retweeted the photo and asked why he didn't have a spotter and announced "safety first!!"... the Padres didn't respond to me this time. They don't like it when I criticize something. I was not the only person to tweet them mentioning the lack of a spotter but I didn't see any responses to our concerns. I really hope this isn't a normal thing for the Padres and if it is, I hope it's not the cause of all the DL stints last season. Now, to go eat the rest of my pizza from last night because that's really how I stay in shape.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

The Padres Promotional Schedule Is Out...

And it sucks. First thing I noticed, no beach towel giveaway. How the hell do the Padres not have beach towel night?! That is by far the best giveaway they have even though the towels are so thin that I'd never actually use them. If you're trying to bring in more fans and won't do it by making the team better, giveaways are the next best thing and the Padres can't even get that right. Of course for my alcoholics out there, they have two beerfest nights as well as a wine festival and I think it's a safe bet they will do another Cinco de Drinko day around Cinco de Mayo. As it stands, there might be a total of six games that I'd want to go to based off this schedule. Fingers crossed they add onto this and offer much better giveaways.

Dear Padres, we want stuff that we can actually keep and eventually pass down to our offspring. Though I suppose multiple alcohol inspired events could produce said offspring. I can see it all now... "Well, sweetie, one day back in the summer of 2013 the Padres had a wine festival. You see, the Padres weren't a very good team and they bribed fans with wine and other alcohol inspired events to increase attendance and well, that's where I met your daddy. And nine months later you were born.". Well, isn't that a fantastic story to pass down to your kid. I don't know about you but I'd much rather be able to give them something awesome than end up calling them Kelly because they were conceived at a Casey Kelly drunkfest. I mean, I absolutely love that I have my parents old Padres stuff from the 80's like Cub Busters shirts and some of the other hideous brown and yellow era stuff as well as theirs and some of my own stuff from the 90's. If my future spawn is even half as interested as I am about the retro stuff, I'll be thrilled to lend them my stuff but you can't do that with fireworks or alcohol fests.

Okay, the Padres just tweeted me and we can all relax... Beach Towel night will be May 4th.

I don't feel like erasing all that I have already written about the schedule because it's clear that they haven't listed all the giveaways and as it stands, the schedule still sucks so my comments are valid... minus the beach towel ones, clearly.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Fan Fest, Is It Worth It

With fan fest only a few days away, I thought it might be a good idea to make a post about my feelings towards this event.

In theory fan fest is a great idea but in reality, it sucks. Keep in mind I have only been to two and that was back in 2010 and 2011. I'll try to keep this to the 2011 experience since it was much different than the 2010 one. I was excited to go and see some of my favorite players like Richard and Latos as well as see those twitter friends that you only see during baseball season. The only part of that that happened, seeing twitter friends. I went with my friend and her sister and we literally got there a few minutes after the gates opened and the "vouchers" needed to be able to get autographs were nearly gone and were completely gone for the two players I wanted to see most. Awesome, what are we going to do now?! We decided to take the clubhouse tour which again, is a great idea in theory. In reality you were rushed through the clubhouse and if  you were lucky enough to pause for a second, you could take pictures. It dumps you out into one of the dugouts and guess what, there's a gazillion people there and you can't even get a picture unless you wait forever. Awesome, now what?! Hmm, let's try the garage sale!! Yeah umm, anything good cost more money than a typical person my age would most likely have on them and was probably already gone. Awesome, what's next?! By this point I decided to stop by the Friarhood table and talk to Steve. During this time is when I ran into Twitter friends coming and going so that was fun. All in all, fan fest was a huge cluster fuck and I had hoped that next seasons would be better... I missed it. I missed it because I was supposed to hangout with a friend that day but that fell through since he couldn't get away from his, incapable of doing anything on her own and ALWAYS has to be with him, significant other. No, I'm not over exaggerating that. Super fun.

As I said in the start of this post, fan fest is only a few days away. With that knowledge in hand, I began trying to decide if I wanted to go, assuming I found a away to do so and the motivation to wake up for it. I began asking my friend if he wanted to go with me but we have yet to figure that out. Go figure. Anyway after seeing the list of players that will be in attendance, you can find that here, I began to wonder if it was even worth it.

For one, I find autographs extremely weird. I've written about that before somewhere in the whole meeting Mike Napoli post, I think. Athletes are just normal every day people who just so happen to have an insane ability to throw or hit balls like a beast.Without that ability, you wouldn't think twice about them, especially the Padres. It's no secret that our team is only a few steps above minor league status so the fact that people want autographs from our players is baffling. For two, the only person on the team that I personally think would be worth seeing at fan fest is Maybin. Surprised I didn't say Cory?? Yeah, me too. Okay, not really. I've already determined that Cory, though attractive is boring as hell. Don't believe me?? Watch his commercials and the "tour" he gave during Spring Training last season. Though I would want to meet him and talk about his Tommy John surgery. I'd probably freak him out if I did that. Cute, tiny girls shouldn't be that interested in stuff that involves blood. The reason I said Maybin would be the only player worth meeting is because he seems to be the only player with any kind of personality. As you know, I'm a fan of big personalities on and off the field. When it comes to choosing which athletes I like, I go for two things... okay, three things, talent, whether or not I'd want to be friends with them and, clearly because I'm a girl, if I'd want to have their baby. Sometimes, the I want to be your friend part overshadows the talent part and often the I want to have your baby part overshadows the talent part. Case in point, Cla Meredith. Anyway, I wouldn't hesitant to go had the Padres had players with personality and or another once in a lifetime player like Tony Gwynn or Trevor Hoffman on the team.

I think that a lot of fan fest is aimed more towards kids than the rest of the fan base but that's just me. After all, baseball is a game and the Padres are awesome at catering to the mini fans. There is no doubt that I would enjoy fan fest a million times more if I was a big bright eyed, naive, everything is rainbows and butterflies, little kid and got the chance to meet someone I look up to. But I've learned things aren't always rainbows and butterflies or unicorns shitting glitter so the idea of fan fest is more of a giant tweet up than meeting players and doing all the stuff they have planned. Now, I will always love the Padres and hope to get excitement back for them but they have filled me with so much disappointment lately that it's hard to care. To those who are going, I hope you have a better time than I had in the past. If I'm there, I hope to see you and if I'm not, at least you'll know why I decided not to go.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

"...Even the Players Feel Comfortable In It"

In an attempt to distract myself from the shittastic way I've been feeling these past couple months, I decided to put all of my "we are no longer buying this book back because a new edition came out" textbooks in one place. While doing this I stumbled upon some old high school newspapers. I was shocked to see that I still had them after all this time and that most were in pretty decent condition. In this state of shock all I could think of was to take a picture of them and post them on everything from Twitter to Facebook and Instagram then put them away again. I figured all my high school friends on Facebook would get a kick out of it or nostalgic or some shit and some did. This is where it starts to get good, I promise. One of my friends asked if I could go through them and see if he had written any of the stories. So like the bored little girl I am, I pulled them back out of the storage tub and started going through them. As I was going through looking for his stories I found an article one of the other students wrote from May of 2004 talking about Petco Park. See, I told you it was going to start getting good. There were a few things I found interesting or funny about the article.

The first thing I found funny was the opening paragraph. It reads, "The San Diego Padres have a new, stylish look. They didn't get a facelift, breast implants, or any form of cosmetic surgery. But what they did get is new uniforms. The Padres threw away their dull, navy blue and orange uniforms and went with a more modern look, blue and gold.". They did go on to say that the Padres got a new stadium which overshadowed the new uniforms and acquired talent. I immediately thought of Gaslamp Ball when I read the cosmetic surgery part and could see them or myself using that line as a title for a post describing the remodeling of Petco. Though, I suppose now it would be considered a form of plastic surgery... like liposuction. You know, they went the easy way and paid to slim down instead of putting in the work to get the desired results. BAM, amazing analogy. You're welcome. Fine, it's not AMAZING but I like it.

Another thing I found funny in that paragraph was calling the best uniforms the Padres ever had, dull. The blue and orange is a staple of my childhood just like for some unfortunate D-Backs fans, the purple and greenish tank top uniforms were a staple of their childhoods. The next thing I found interesting was the fact that the author wrote that the stadium was sometimes referred to as "PP". Umm, I don't know where I was when this was happening because I don't remember EVER hearing Petco referred to as PP. Then again, for a period of time I wasn't as devoted to baseball as I am now. You can say we were on a break after the '98 season and began flirting on and off again shortly after high school allowing me to at least be legal the next time they screwed me. It's safe to say we are back on but in a very unhealthy relationship.

The final thing I found interesting about the article was the best line, besides the whole implants line, "...even the players feel comfortable in it". I guess our players now are too prissy and don't want to do the work needed to own the stadium instead of letting the stadium own them. At least, from what I've seen via twitter, it was players bitching about the stadium and some annoying fans chiming in that helped destroy a thing of beauty. *Disclaimer: I never saw actual tweets or statements from players complaining. The tweets I speak of were from everyone else so it may or may not be true that the players were complaining.*

What a difference almost a decade makes. Back in 2004 the Padres were starting the best they had since the '98 season and no one was complaining about the dimensions. Instead, they were in awe of everything the stadium had to offer. Fast forward to the 2012 season and people are bitching left and right for a change. Skip to today and the new fences are almost complete, if not already complete, and it's only a matter of months before the players, management and fans come up with new excuses as to why they can't win. Obviously, we had something going right back then if we were one season away from our back to back playoff appearances. Sure, making it to the playoffs is pretty much meaning less if you don't make it to the World Series but baby steps, guys, baby steps. I do believe the Padres could have found success again without the liposuction. Unfortunately, like 99.99% of Americans, they wanted to take the easy way out and that's exactly what they did.

PS. I was going to attach the photo of the article but in order to read it and giggle along with me, it would have had to be massive so instead, here's the link from my twitter.