- Do not under any circumstance do the wave. If you do, I will yell at you for being a shithead as well as yell at you to "stop fucking doing the wave"... in those exact words.
- Ladies, do not wear skirts/dresses to games. I don't care if they are sundresses or maxi dresses, they do not belong at the stadium and you look like a white trash fuck twat for wearing them.
- Also ladies, do not wear heels to games. Not only does it make you look like a whore bag but it confirms the fact that you are indeed a twat waffle.
- Do not bring your brand new baby(ies) to the game if you're sitting in the front row. Baseballs and soft spots don't mix. At least if you're in the second row or further there's probably some douche lord in front of you that will try to catch the ball and end up deflecting it, keeping your baby safe.
- Do not go to a game if you have no fucking idea what is going on. Real fans don't want to listen to your idiotic questions the entire time and we will make fun of you. If you want to learn the game, watch it at home so you don't annoy the shit out of everyone else.
- Do not bring someone who doesn't know baseball. Again, real fans don't want to be bothered with anything other than the game and having to hear you explain to your girlfriend or whoever "after the top half of the seventh there's the bottom of the seventh. Then the top of the eighth followed by the bottom of the eighth..." is one of the most annoying things ever. Like in 5, explain baseball to them at home before you take them to a game.
- It is NEVER acceptable to show up to a game late... especially if it's under your control or if you are meeting someone at the stadium who already has your ticket/someone is meeting you and you have their ticket.
- It is NEVER acceptable to leave a game early... unless you know, you're actually dying or are about to pop out a kid but if that's the case you shouldn't be going to the game to begin with.
- Do not wear gear for teams who are not playing in that series. Unless maybe it's a jersey of a player that is currently on your team. If not, it makes you look like a fucktard, especially when it's not even a baseball teams gear that you are wearing. I don't care if it's a Chargers jersey, you still look like a fucktard.
- Do not get the best seats you possibly can if all you are going to do is make out with your boyfriend/girlfriend. There are plenty of actual fans that would kill to have those seats and would actually watch the game.
- Ladies, please do not only "like" the sport because your boyfriend or husband or even crush likes the sport. You will annoy the shit out of every female fan that actually likes the sport not because of a boyfriend/husband/crush. Plus, you give the rest of us a bad name.
Ladies, if you do 2 and 3 you have no right to get offended or give the bitch face when you hear real female fans making comments about your twat waffleness. Baseball is to be watched in comfort not whoreness. That also goes for the Victoria's Secret cleat chaser line... You know exactly which items I'm talking about too.
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