You Can Fucking Kiss My Ass, Human Centipede

This post has absolutely nothing to do with tonight's Padres game since I have been too busy trying to figure out this strike zone for the Reds Cards game. I have two examples from sometime between the first and the fourth inning of that game, both are on Latos and I just missed an even better one on Garcia. The one I missed showed at least two pitches that were clearly in the right hand corner of the strike zone that were called balls, this baffles me. I hate how umpires can decided what their strike zone is going to look like. Can't they just stick to how everyone was taught?! It would make life a lot easier if they stuck with the whole between the letters and the knees thing and the whole crosses any part of the plate thing. The only thing I can say about this game is at least the umpire was making shitty calls for both sides... Because I need another reason to hate umpires after that bullshit triple play call on Sunday. I'm not even going to get into that, bringing it up was enough.

Example 1

Example 2

To go with the whole you can kiss my ass theme, tonight I learned a valuable lesson... DO NOT search any of your favorite players on twitter. I am one of those people who gets very attached to my players and cheer for them like they are my best friend and if I really like you, I follow you throughout your career. I made the mistake of searching Latos tonight and I must say, I'm offended at peoples reactions. Whether it was Reds fans or Cards fans they need to lay off. I mean seriously some of them had nothing better to say than to talk shit about his tattoos. Coming from someone who often talks shit about peoples tattoos, it's fucked up. You don't know the story behind peoples tattoos and I should most definitely leave my comments in my head because of that. Now back to baseball related things, I understand Reds fans are pissed with his performance but if they took the time to look up the stats on him they would see that he is a slow starter and as the season goes on will prove that the trade was worth it. What is even more fucked up about the shit that was coming up under the search was that people were getting on his wife for his performance... well I can only assume they were since tweets that said something along the lines of "Cards fans do yourself a favor and follow Mat Latos' wife, you're welcome" were popping up in the search. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to 1) be a player who has a twitter account and seeing all the hate after a game or 2) knowing a player and reading all the hate and having some be directed at you. So can someone remind me to never search a player again?? Thanks.

Oh yeah, the Padres lost. Go figure.

Record: 3-10

PS. This post has made me feel super hypocritical as I am a huge fan of talking shit about people I don't like and I feel like this whole thing deserves a big fat "mow my lawn" or one of those stupid "if (enter sport here) was so easy, they would call it (enter different sport here)" comments. 

Credit Childish Gambino for the title tonight.