If I Told You Once, I've Told You a Million Times. Padres Fans Are Masochists

I was about to apologize for not making a post after yesterday's game then I realized, why should I apologize?? All the post would have been is me saying how much I hate Volquez and how many times I yelled at him for bouncing balls and walking players. If you really want to know it went a little something like this, "STOP FUCKING BOUNCING THE BALL!! IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING COMPLICATED!!" or "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?! STOP WALKING PEOPLE!! God I HATE Volquez." No, I had not been drinking. Fuck was just my word of choice and flipping them off was my hand gesture of choice last night at the game. There was also yelling at Everth and Alonso as per usual and yes those did include various forms of "fuck". With the abundance of fucks thrown around during the game it was only natural that we went to Dick's Last Resort afterwards and that's all I'm going to say about that...


One batter into today's game and the D-Bags announcers proclaimed "So the Padres won't throw a no hitter" Really?! Fuck you too. As if I'm not in a bad enough mood already, I have to hear announcers "joke" about something that the Padres have been failing at since 1969. In the second inning the D-Backs scored first with a stupid home run that bounced over instead of back in play, not sure that would have really mattered though. In the bottom of the fifth Logan tripled because Parra did what you are taught not to do, go in on the ball. He went in, the ball went over, Logan ended up on third and I laughed. Good job, Parra, good job. The Padres had a failed suicide squeeze... so much for having a runner on third with one out. Good thing I'm not at today's game. There's no telling how many little kids would have learned some choice words from me... because I didn't teach enough kids any last night night.


Dear Padres, You had Roberts picked off and you still fucked up?! OH MY FUCKING GOD. STOP PLAYING LIKE THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME EVER!! That error lead to a run being scored because Deno's throw was offline and this day just keeps getting worse and worse for me AND I haven't even mentioned that Parrino got placed on the DL. The D-Bags add two more with a two run shot to center putting them up 4-0. The announcers are killing me today, "These Padres fans are all over their hometown heroes" Umm last I checked Tony Gwynn wasn't playing in this game, dumbass. Six innings into the game and we finally find out why Will got taken out, a strained oblique. In other words he pulled a muscle in his stomach area, more specifically, his side. Parra hit a two run shot as well during the seventh and a bitter Padres fan threw the ball back. Personally, I would have kept the ball and just yelled FUCK YOU and flipped Parra off. It only took 6 runs and 6.1 innings before Black realized, hey lets pull Stults. Maybe, just maybe, Black should have taken a cue from the fans and pulled Stults when everyone was booing him. But I guess that's using your head too much. Welp, the Padres got shut out, losing 6-0 to lose the series.

Meanwhile, I have come up with a genius idea. The Padres need to load the team with hot guys that way when they play like shit people like Colleen and myself, who actually know baseball, wouldn't complain as much. Obviously by people I mean chicks because the guys aren't going to care what the players look like as long as there is and abundance of beer. Speaking of which, maybe the Padres should do some sort of deal where every time  the Padres play like shit they lower the price of beer. Sure they might, I mean will lose money on beer sales but get that shit going and more people will buy tickets which might just make up for the lack of beer sales AND it might cause the stadium to be sold out. Based off the fans I know, Padres fans love their beer so this would be a great idea... until they ran out of beer. Just don't blame me when that happens, I'm just the one that comes up with the ideas, it's the Padres job to figure out all the intricate details. I want to make it clear that this is just a genius thought I had and that this is no way an actual thing, though it probably should be.

Record: 18-37