Happy home opener, bitches!! To be perfectly honest, I'm not expecting this to be a good game and hope it's not since I'm not there and have to see everyone else rubbing it in like they did fanfest. For the record, I hate you all. Now, let's beat the penis wrinkles!!
Clayton starts the game with a leadoff walk, super. This is not how you should start a game ever, much less the home opener. Okay, game starts off with a leadoff walk followed promptly by a single, not good. With two on and one out, Clayton gets to face Adrian. BOOOOOOOOOOO!! Motherfucker, Clayton walked Adrian. If you're going to give him a free base, can you at least hit him instead?? Seriously. Clayton gets out of the inning with an awesome double play that I did not expect the Padres to pull off. A 1-2-3 DP or 1-2-4, not sure who was covering first but either way, it was spectacular and gave me a little glimpse of what we are actually capable of doing.
Welp, Venable gets the Padres going with a solo shot off the first pitch he sees like a boss. That home run would have gone out whether or not the dimensions had changes, so CLEARLY, that was money well spent. The Padres are leading 1-0 in the first off Beckett. Shocking!! Alonso, once again, gets a hit when I'm not looking. I see how it is. Good Lord, what has gotten into these boys, 2-0 in the first?! I guess it's good to be home. Seriously, these are not my Padres. I don't know where they are but I like these ones better, a lot better. I hope they plan on sticking around.
Twat Waffle Supreme gets on in a stupid play and instead of the Padres getting a double play, the Padres we know and hate showed up and now there's two on with no outs instead of vice versa. Way to take the wind out of my sails. We promptly get a double play with the next batter but, I'm not comfortable with the Twat Waffle Supreme being on their even if it is Beckett up to bat now. Two innings, two jams and two scoreless innings. I can do without the james and the stress, guys, just saying.
The home plate ump is being a douche lord calling interference on Quentin. Ummm, Quentin didn't do anything except look up to make sure the ball wasn't going to land on his head, the penis wrinkle ran into him. Douche lord!! Apparently it was because he was out of the batters box, whatever. FUCK, tied ball game thanks to Uribe's home run. Good thing they moved in the fences...
Clayton is pissing me off today. He's not on as much as I wish he was and his pitch count is too high for my liking, around 100 pitches in 5 innings, no bueno. Welp, the Padres take back the lead with a Hundley home run. Yes, I said Hundley. Black made an odd choice in pinch hitting Stults for Clayton. AWKWARD. I love that no one on my twitter timeline knows why Stults was pinch hitting. This is going to drive me crazy but I'll end up turning the post game show off before there's an explanation.
Welp, we bring in Thatcher to pitch to Adrian and he singles/drives in a run and bye bye Thatcher. That's gotta feel good. You have ONE thing to do and you can't do it and now you get to sit and dwell on it. Sorry. Did I mention that it tied up the game?? Cause it did. Boo. Kotsay doubles to give the Padres back the lead and now I think he needs an oxygen mask. Sweet deal, the Padres load the bases with two out because the Dodgers drilled Quentin in the wrist and now Quentin is out of the game. Twenty bucks, it's his hamate bone. Black is making some odd choices today. First Stults pinch hitting and now Ross pinch running. He does realize he needs someone to replace Quentin in left, right?? Why waste another body instead of say, putting Deno into run since you'll probably put him in anyway. Unless they opted to use Kotsay which they didn't since they just showed me Deno like I called it. What the fuck, Black?! You're confusing me today.
The first two Padres batters in the 8th have been walked. Time to add on here boys but no, you make Cam bunt and waste an out. Fuck you. I HATE wasting outs!! Deno tacks on another run driving in Alexi on a single to make it 5-3 Padres. I'm still mad about the bunting though. Padres load the bases with two outs and I'm not expecting much out of this but stranger things have happened. HOLY FUCK!! Venable with a bases clearing triple to make it 8-3. Is this real life?! Alonso about takes the head off the Dodgers pitcher and then Adrian can't make the play and the Padres take a 9-3 lead all while I'm laughing hysterically at the Dodgers. It's a lot more fun when the other team is the one being embarrassing. The Padres load the bases again and this inning is reminiscent of the Reds Cards 9th inning yesterday. Except ya know, we didn't score as many runs as the Reds did or put as many batters up but still we kinda blew the game open here. WOOOOOOH!! Padres take the home opener and give us all a little hope for the future. Please don't let today be a fluke. I liked these Padres.
Record: 2-5
