The Padres Promotional Schedule Is Out...

And it sucks. First thing I noticed, no beach towel giveaway. How the hell do the Padres not have beach towel night?! That is by far the best giveaway they have even though the towels are so thin that I'd never actually use them. If you're trying to bring in more fans and won't do it by making the team better, giveaways are the next best thing and the Padres can't even get that right. Of course for my alcoholics out there, they have two beerfest nights as well as a wine festival and I think it's a safe bet they will do another Cinco de Drinko day around Cinco de Mayo. As it stands, there might be a total of six games that I'd want to go to based off this schedule. Fingers crossed they add onto this and offer much better giveaways.

Dear Padres, we want stuff that we can actually keep and eventually pass down to our offspring. Though I suppose multiple alcohol inspired events could produce said offspring. I can see it all now... "Well, sweetie, one day back in the summer of 2013 the Padres had a wine festival. You see, the Padres weren't a very good team and they bribed fans with wine and other alcohol inspired events to increase attendance and well, that's where I met your daddy. And nine months later you were born.". Well, isn't that a fantastic story to pass down to your kid. I don't know about you but I'd much rather be able to give them something awesome than end up calling them Kelly because they were conceived at a Casey Kelly drunkfest. I mean, I absolutely love that I have my parents old Padres stuff from the 80's like Cub Busters shirts and some of the other hideous brown and yellow era stuff as well as theirs and some of my own stuff from the 90's. If my future spawn is even half as interested as I am about the retro stuff, I'll be thrilled to lend them my stuff but you can't do that with fireworks or alcohol fests.

Okay, the Padres just tweeted me and we can all relax... Beach Towel night will be May 4th.

I don't feel like erasing all that I have already written about the schedule because it's clear that they haven't listed all the giveaways and as it stands, the schedule still sucks so my comments are valid... minus the beach towel ones, clearly.