Someone Is About To Be Saved By The Bell...

Word has it that Heath Bell is close to signing with a mystery team. "A source close to Heath Bell said his FA deal is about done but no word on what team it is... so not sure you should have read this tweet" - Jim Bowden. If I had to guess who this mystery team is, I would say the Padres. Why?? Because pretty much every Padres fan thinks that he is about to go and what would be more shocking than to see him stay?! Everyone that knows anything about Heath knows that he has stated that he would take the hometown discount to play with the Padres. Personally, I wouldn't be upset if he left. Don't get me wrong he is an All Star caliber pitcher and a really nice guy but his tendency to make the ninth inning 'interesting' is going to give me a heart attack one of these days. If he does stay with the Padres, I'm going to have to start working out and doing everything I can to prevent the stress of watching him pitch from giving me a heart attack. Though there are rumors flying around, Heath posted himself via twitter "The most exciting thing that happened today..put up my Christmas lights. No news people." So whatever happens, happens and I will cope with it in my own ways. C'est la vie.

Bye Bye Blackbird

Ok so I realize this isn't exactly the best title for this post considering it's about Wade LeBlanc and blanc is French for white but I like it so you can suck it. Lets cut to the chase, Tuesday, LeBlanc got traded to the Marlins for lefty catcher John Baker adding to the list of Padres that have gone Florida's way. The stats might show that LeBlanc killed it at home but wasn't all that on the road. From my personal experience he sucked balls at home. I don't know how many games of his I have been to but the majority of the time he felt the need to show that chicks dig the long ball, for the opposing teams women that is. In 2010 he gave up 24 home runs... pretty sure I was there to see 23 of them. Ok that's an exaggeration but it sure felt like I witnessed that many. I felt bad because I really wanted to like him but the second I would start to he would give up another home run.


So what do we do?? We trade him for a guy who only played 16 games last season cause he had Tommy John surgery in 2010. Awesome. I understand we need catching depth but at this point LeBlanc had a better career BA than Baker and Lord knows we need bats. Baker is 30 and has only had four major league seasons under his belt which tells me that he isn't the greatest catcher out there and that he is dirt cheap, which is why the Padres acquired him. I'd go into more stats but lets be honest, I really could care less about this trade at this point in time. I'm sure I will have a follow up post when the season gets going and I can see for myself how this trade worked out or didn't work out.

Bullshit Unicorn Rainbow Calisthenics

The Astros move to the AL West, two more Wild Card spots open and interleague play all year?! To quote Ruxin from The League, "bullshit unicorn rainbow calisthenics". More interleague games, to me, takes away from the World Series. I didn't care for the random interleague play during the season to begin with and personally believe that it should be reserved for the World Series. That's how the baseball Gods created it and you Bud Selig, are not one of the baseball Gods. If I wanted to watch a team play with a DH all season I wouldn't be an NL fan. What I want to know is why they felt the need to make an even number of teams in each league. Also the addition of a one game playoff game is not something I want to see... bad memories. Since Selig is in the mood to screw up baseball, why don't we go ahead and give the players aluminum bats?? After all, they will make the game more "interesting" due to the number of home runs produced. Needless to say this league change is not SanDiegoGirlie approved.

Grady Sizemore and why I think the Padres should cough up the money and sign him

We all know the Padres do not have the money to spend on any player that they want and after the events of the last off-season they proved they can't and or won't cough up enough money to afford their best player. So why should they go after Grady Sizemore?? Any baseball fan knows that Grady has been plagued with injuries the past few seasons turning him into a high-risk player. However, baseball fans also know the ability he has when he is healthy, making him a high-reward player as well. The question is, is the reward worth the risk?? If you ask me, yes. Sure, I am slightly bias... ok a lot bias, since he is one of my favorite players but, look at it this way... He played in only 71 games last season and his average (.224) was still better than about 75% of the entire Padres team, he had 38 RBI which is again better than about 75% of the Padres and he had more home runs (10) than everyone with the exception of Ryan Ludwick (11), who in 30 more games only had one more. Sure last season he didn't have any stolen bases but credit that to his knee injuries. His strikeout per plate appearances has gone up and down throughout his career with his highest percentage coming last season, most likely due to having to adjust his swing after having elbow issues, we can all agree that the Padres do not need anymore strikeouts.

I know that there is a very good possibility that he will never be the same Grady that he was from '06 - '08 but if he lets himself completely heal before going all out he can be a big help to the Padres. For one, he is a lefty and we can use more of those in our lineup. Two, he has played the majority of his career as a lead-off man and we would for once be able to see some consistency in our lineup, cue the Bud Bot hashtag. Three, he is willing to play a corner outfield position in order to prove himself again, “He wants to have an opportunity that will allow him to show he’s still the elite player he’s been,” Urbon said. “In a perfect world, he’d love to play center field. You can’t ignore the fact that’s where he won two Gold Gloves, where he’s been a three-time all star. When healthy, he’s one of the best players in the game. But if he feels the best opportunity is for him play in a corner spot, then he has the ability to do that.”. As his agent mentioned, he is a three-time All Star and a two-time Gold Glove winner. He is also a Silver Slugger winner, has placed four times in the MVP voting and is still relatively young. What team wouldn't want a player like that?! Four, his presence will add attractiveness which just might bring in more female fans and hopefully boost attendance... at this point I don't care how the seats get filled as long as they do. With all this said, it is highly unlikely that the Padres will cough up the nine million that he was looking to get from the Indians this coming season therefore crushing my hopes and dreams of seeing Grady in a Padres uni. Instead the Padres will get Mark Kotsay pending physical which means I will be keeping my fingers crossed that this acquisition doesn't turn out to be another Jim Edmonds or Brad Hawpe situation.

God's Vagina . . . where Padres fans are born

First things first, I have to give credit to Avenger-in-Chief for not only the title of this post but also the title of this blog. I suppose I should also give credit to Pineapple Express for the title, if it wasn't for that movie this blog would not exist... though the blog has absolutely nothing to do with the movie. What does God's Vagina has to do with baseball you ask, well in my mind it goes a little something like this... Friars/Padres are God's homies and vagina = girl. So yeah that's what God's Vagina has to do with baseball. Secondly, as you might guess from the title, I will be posting about the San Diego Padres from my point of view... WARNING: There may be frequent baseball pants posts and possibly some Grady Sizemore posts as well. I will however try to keep this as Padres related as possible. Oh yeah and I will probably post about any epic injuries around the league e.g. Buster Posey and Stephen Drew's injuries. Finally, yes, I am a girl. Yes, I watch baseball on a regular basis. No, I don't just watch for the pants.



PS. I feel the need to emphasize that this is all in fun and if you don't like what I have to say, you can keep your bitchy comments to yourself.