Sweet Baby Jesus, There's Baseball On

So I'm watching the World Baseball Classic and not even an hour into me watching it, we have already had our first "DROP, DROP, DROP!! FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!" of the season. Oh, baseball, how I've missed you so much!! I knew I missed baseball and was ready for it to be back but I didn't think I was going to be THAT excited for it already. Clearly, I'm more than excited for baseball to be back than I thought or even expected I would be.

First thing's first, this is I think the first time I've bothered to watch the World Baseball Classic. I got excited to see that Brazil was playing. Though, I'm not Brazilian, I am Portuguese so I feel a slight connection to all things Brazil. If Brazil is competing and Portugal is not, you can bet your ass I'm cheering for Brazil. With that said, I was extremely caught off guard when I looked up at the batter for Brazil to see that he was Asian. I promptly yelled at my TV "Why are you Asian?!". I was expecting more along the line of a typical Brazilian. I was also expecting a lot of those typical Brazilian asses. Needless to say, I am very disappointed right now.

My next question, where are all the Rodrigues' and Correia's and Teixeira's on Brazil?! Or are those strictly Portugal Portuguese names?? Seriously, where are they?! I'm so confused right now this is ridiculous. I understand not everyone is going to have a typical Portuguese or Brazilian name but shit, at least the dudes from Cuba have typical Latin names. Stop confusing me, WBC.

Now for the final moment of utter confusion, Barry Larkin. Why is he the coach for Brazil?! I tried to Google to see if maybe he was Brazilian or something but I got a tad bit sidetracked and frustrated with Google. I still have no clue why he is the coach or why there are so many atypical Brazilians on the team. They explained earlier why there were so many Asians but I stopped listening.

Brazil is losing and pissing me off and forcing me to call them the one bad word that I do remember in Portuguese. Ugh, can we not disappoint me before the actual season starts?? I seriously feel like I'm watching the College World Series or even the Little League World Series but, hey, it's baseball. Baseball that I'm about to turn off. Why am I about to turn it off?? Because Cuba has the bases loaded and no outs. NOT OKAY, BRAZIL. NOT OKAY!! Also, I'm sick of seeing the same Under Armour commercial with Bryce Harper, though his arms look amazing. Yeah, umm with Cuba winning 5-0 and have the bases loaded with 2 outs, I'm totally turning this off now. Tomorrow I will at least have my Padres to watch, even if it is only Spring Training.