Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Saying Goodbye to a Legend

I told myself that I wasn't going to do this because I don't have any fun memories or stories to tell of Tony Gwynn and I couldn't stop crying long enough to form coherent thoughts but here I am just after midnight writing this. Just a few days ago I put away all of my Padres blueprints, magazines, calendars, etc. except for one, my 1999-2000 Padres calendar with Tony Gwynn's 3,000th hit as the centerfold. There was no rhyme or reason for me to have left that out. I simply forgot I had it. After hearing about Tony's passing I realized it was still hanging up on my wall, 14 years later. I guess I wasn't meant to put that away just yet.

As far as I'm concerned we lost the most loved and respected player by every fan base. Cancer clearly didn't get my memo that Mr. Padre was not allowed to die. I can not think of one player who was genuinely loved and respected nearly as much as Tony was. If you got to witness him play and he wasn't one of your favorite players, I seriously question your baseball fandom. It goes without saying that he was and always will be a Padres fans favorite if not all time favorite. Even though I was little for the chunk of his career that I was alive to see I never fully understood the greatness that was him until now. Yes, I cheered for him and everything but what I failed to understand was the impact he would have on so many people. I liked him as a Padre and wanted to be his friend. He seemed like such a down to earth guy and someone who would be so fun to be around yet I never thought or really cared to go to his number retirement ceremony. I just didn't feel like it was something for me since I was getting myself fully back into baseball around that time. I felt like that ceremony was for people who truly appreciated him more than I ever could. I feel the same way now as I debate whether or not I should drive down to Petco and pay my respects. Part of me wants to go down since I've been crying so much throughout the day that you would think I knew him personally but the other part of me wants to let those same people who appreciated him more than I ever could, have their time there.

I found out the news the moment I woke up. I had a tweet from a Giants fan I know sending his condolences for Tony's passing. My heart sank. I didn't and still don't want to believe it's true. Even though I'm having a difficult time accepting this I wasn't shocked. We all knew he hadn't been doing well lately and everyone had been sending thoughts and prayers for his recovery. Every time his name got brought up in a broadcast Mark Grant would never fail to let him know they were thinking of him. Twitter didn't let him down today. As I said, I've cried a lot today and social media is to blame. Seeing all the status updates and tweets about him from everybody across the country made me fully understand his impact on everyone. Some were saying their favorite baseball moments and others were sharing about the time they met him. I never had the opportunity to meet him and it kills me to know there are people who have met him and couldn't care less that they did. So to everyone who met him, I hope you truly appreciated what an amazing baseball player and man he was because there are people, like me, who would do anything to have that chance that you took for granted.

I remember wanting to go to Aztecs games in hopes of getting to meet him. In 2011 I finally went to a game but to my disappointment he wasn't there. If I remember correctly he was recovering from surgery and I was extremely bummed to miss out on seeing him live and in person without being forever away in the stands at The Q. I also remember how excited I would be when I'd be at a game and I'd look over into the broadcast booth and see him in there. The funny thing is, I'd also get really sad that I'm not at home getting to hear him. Even though the Padres have been struggling these past years, to put it nicely, having Tony randomly in the booth made watching games so much better. I could listen to him talk forever. There was just something about him that was so mesmerizing and that smile. I am so thankful and incredibly creeped out that Tony Gwynn Jr. sounds and looks just like him. That should make things a little easier for Padres fans.

While waiting for the tribute I couldn't help but wonder how the Padres or MLB in general plan to honor Tony now. I mean that man already had everything you could think of to honor him. In the Hall of Fame, check. Street named after him, check. Retired number, check. Stadium named after him, check. A statue, check. What else is left for them to do?? Considering the magnitude of each honor he has received, a patch or that black bar they had tonight doesn't seem like enough. Nothing seems like enough.

I know I said I didn't have a fun story or memories of Tony but I do remember my dad telling me how Coach Smelko, Monte Vista's baseball coach in the 90's, knew Tony from their SDSU days and how Tony would sign a bunch of stuff to sell in order to help the team raise money. Now, I don't know how much truth there is to that story but that just seems so awesomely odd to me. Not the fact that Tony did that but the fact that it was for my brothers and eventually my high school.

I know this is all over the place but I tried to get it to flow as much as possible. So let me end this before I make a mess out of it...

To say that Tony will be missed has to be the understatement of the millennium. I think when he died a tiny piece of all of us died with him. San Diego and the Padres will never be the same. I can't even begin to imagine how his family feels if we as fans are feeling this bad. I hope in whatever way the Padres and MLB do to honor him they do it in a way that will set a precedent for honoring future legends. Actually, no, I hope they do it in a way that will never be topped. With that said, I hope you rest in peace, Tony. We miss you already. Just know that you will forever be loved and cherished and your memory will be passed on for generations to come.

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