Wait, Shit, Fuck, Dammit!! I'm So Confused!! Part Four

Okay so the title totally doesn't fit anymore because today I was clearly anti-Reds BUT I'm keeping it because it was a four game series and there should have been confusion. Wait, I lied. There was some confusion today just not of the "who do I cheer for" variety. There was a verbal fight between some douche lord in a Bryce Harper shersey and a Padres fan. No big deal right, just words. WRONG. Douche lord felt the need to get up into the other fans face and next thing I know our section is filled with cops. The Padres douche lord apparently decided he wasn't going to own up to the fact that he was in this verbal fight or so I heard from the Reds fan in front of us. I was too busy trying to make sure a foul ball didn't come at my head. You kinda need to watch out from that when you're in 114 row 2.

Before I go on with what I have to say I will rewind to how the day started. The day for Brandon, Colleen, Kelly and myself started with breakfast at the park and since Dusty Baker felt the need to have BP today we got to eat at the Batter's Eye next to the Dave Winfield plaque. Our view looked like this...

Pretty awesome, right?! It totally was. Go ahead and be jealous, I'll wait. Done?? Okay good. As if that wasn't enough, thanks to Baker's decision to have BP, we got to hang our boobs over the wall again and get some attention. While doing so I looked into RF and saw an older guy in the practice jerseys out talking to Mike Leake. I turned to one of my friends and said, I think that's Charlie Sheen. It's definitely not one of the Reds. It was totally Charlie Sheen and about ten minutes after I initially pointed him out, everyone and their mom was yelling his name. These people are slow as fuck. I'm in left center and you're by the LF foul pole right behind him and you can't figure it out for a good ten minutes?! You fail at life. Anyway, Charlie Sheen made his way over towards where we were and was chatting up Arroyo as seen here....

Sheen totally failed at shagging balls until Latos let him use his glove. At which point, Latos sucked at shagging balls and blamed it on Sheen's glove. Also during BP Chapman and Arredondo decided it would be more fun to stare at my boobs than to shag balls. I don't just mean stare for a few seconds either. I mean blatantly stand there staring for minutes at a time. For the off chance a professional athlete reads this, take note. If you're going to blatantly stare at a chicks boobs, smile or wave or something. It's a lot less creepy. Though I will admit I found this to be extremely hilarious. 

Okay back to where I started. We had awesome seats in 114 row 2 and nearly died due to a foul ball that ended up landing like a row back. I don't remember what inning it was or who hit it all I know is Colleen had just text me so I was looking down at my phone and the next thing I know I'm balled up on my seat protecting my head since I didn't know where the ball was. Super cute. Unfortunately I don't know if it was on TV or not. Part of me hopes it was and the other part hopes it wasn't. Oh yeah, this was my view... 

The Padres lost 4-2 but it's pretty hard to complain when you've had a day like I did. Like I've said in a previous post, the baseball gods may not like my team but they sure seem to have a thing for me. It's onto the All-Star break now so if I make a post it's definitely going to be on something stupid. Sorry. 

To sum things up the Padres lost again but I got a nice tan, we are officially on All-Star break and I got blatantly stared at by Chapman and Arredondo during BP. At least my boobs are good enough to draw their attention, not so much Charlie Sheen's but I'd rather not get herpes through osmosis, thanks.

Record: 34-53