Bring Out the Brooms, It's Time To Cleanup After the Circus

The Giants go down in order to start the game which is simply amazing given Panda swings at EVERYTHING which is both awesome and terrifying at the same time. Pretty sure if I were a pitcher, he would be the one batter that I'd hate to face. Chase gets the game started right with a two out home run to give us the early 1-0 lead. I like when I get to write that we have the early lead. This shit needs to happen more often.

Boo the Giants tie it at 1 in the second. Nick wasn't thrilled that the Giants tied it up so he took matters into his own hands and absolutely murdered a two run shot, making it 3-1 Padres in two. Marquis was trying to give us all heart attacks by insisting on not throwing strikes. Fortunately Pence hit into a double play to end the top of the third and we can all breathe a sigh of relief.

So Vogelsong walks the previous two batters and Blanks gets up there and swings at the first pitch to end the inning. Why?! You just saw the last two batters get walked and you're going to swing away. No. AND it was low. Double no. I hate it when batters forget they have at least three chances to get a hit. Stop swinging on the first fucking pitch.

Holy shit, the Padres are in a home run mood today!! Alexi just crushed a two run shot of his own to make it a 5-1 game. Oh and it's only the fourth. Where did these guys come from?! Also, Alexi's home run would have been out with the old dimensions too. Apparently half the people on twitter think it didn't go over the deck and the other half do. All that matters is it was a home run.

The Giants add one on in the top of the fifth but it's ok because we're still winning and that's what really matters. It's not Alexi's fault he's short and JUST missed it. Whatever, Team Fun Size. Sweet, a passed ball scored another Padres run and now we have our 4 run lead back. Woooooooo.

Marquis manages to stay in the game for 6.2 innings... at least we know Erlin knows how to warm up. Poor kid. Posey adds on two in the top of the eighth and Deno JUST missed robbing it. I might have freaked the fuck out if he did take that away. It was SO close, SO CLOSE!! Brach gets pulled for Luke after not recording an out in this inning. Deno just saved the lead and Enberg was the most excited I have ever heard him be. It was fabulous. Streets in to go for the save and I'm holding my breath. He scares me almost as much as Heath and Trevor would. It all comes down to Panda. Please Street, strike him out. Or give up a base hit and give Posey a chance to tie it, whatever works for you. *Sigh* I'll allow a ground ball to end it. Padres win 6-4 and sweep the circus. I love when that happens.

Record: 9 - a lot

The Circus Is Back In Town and We Win Walkoff Style

In case you're wondering about last night, I finally was annoyed enough through the day to not even bother writing a post. However, I did watch the game in the dark and yes, I plan on doing that again today. Gotta do whatever it takes to keep us winning, right?! Though, I imagine it will be harder to do today given the earlier start time. Hmmm.

During the bottom half of the first they decided to tell us why Zito likes 75 for his number... it's because it's a shelf for his name. Seriously. Spoken like a true stoner. Enberg and Grant tried to tell us it was because he's artistic. Stop lying to us, we all know he's a stoner.

In the second inning Stults nearly kills Belt but somehow manages to hit his bat instead of his head, the pitch immediately after, hits Belt. I guess Stults doesn't like baby giraffes. Before I could even finish typing that, the Giants take the early 3-0 lead on a three run home run. Yikes.

Waah a ground rule double ruined the Padres chances of scoring in the second. This should have been a 3-1 game right now. Stupid ground rule double. *Fart noise* Quentin makes an error and the Giants add on another run. *Double fart noise* as Posey doubles in Panda, 5-0 Giants. While all this stupid scoring is happening, the most awkward interview on the face of the earth is happening in the booth. Two white men, old and older, trying to talk soccer to what I'm assuming is a professional soccer player.

A pretty comical error, in the fourth, on Torres gives Q a double with one out. Now Blanks singles and we have runners on first and third and I'm praying we don't hit into a double play. I kinda want to see some scoring here. Alonso clears the bases with a double to make it 5-2 contrary to watch Enberg originally announced. Obviously, Zito's high is wearing off. Gyorko makes for out number two followed by a Hundley walk and a Guzman pinch hit to drive in our third run, 5-3 Giants. I'm telling you, his high is wearing off. Deno just tied the game on a double. FUCK YES!! Now we're into the Giants bullpen and no I don't find it a coincidence that we started scoring as soon as this room started getting dark. And the Padres take the lead on a Cabrera single, yeeeeeessssssss!! 6-5 Padres.

Seriously, what is with Pence and this whole one batting glove bullshit?! I don't understand it AT ALL. Fuck you, Mr. One Glove, for driving in two and taking back the lead. I don't like this nor did I approve of this. 7-6 Giants, oh and stop trying to make Blanks bust his face open on walls, K?? Thanks.

The Padres have the go ahead run on second with two outs and Hundley up, I can only hope that the magic we had in the fourth continues into this half of the fifth. It didn't, WAAAAAH!! However, we tied the game at 7 in the 7th, so there's that.

While waiting for something else to happen in the game, I was going through my twitter feed and saw a tweet from the MLB Fan Cave making the whole so and so's home run JUST landed joke. Don't be that person, it's not funny and is quite stupid.

Chase walks to kick off the bottom of the ninth and I'm going to love it if Q crushes it. There's not much better than a walk off home run. Unfortunately, Q did absolutely nothing in his at bat. Blah. Wow, Chase got called out at first and wasn't even tagged. Apparently a glove kicking up dirt counts as tagging the runner, BULLSHIT. However, I knew this was going to go into extras. Also, Alonso got hops. Mad hops. That was a pretty fantastical play and quite shocking and it needs to be in the top 10 plays on SportsCenter.

We're onto the 12th and Erlin gets to make his major league debut. Poor kid, people are going to hate him if he blows this game. Apparently the announcers lied because Thatcher is in instead of Erlin. What the fuck?! Stop telling us that Erlin is going to come in if he's not. The Padres are so close to winning this game and I can't take it anymore. Hurry up and win before I puke!! Giants bobble and the Padres win 8-7!! Thank you baseball gods, I was done with this one.

Record: 8- a lot

Sunday, Funday, Runday!! JK We're the Padres

Apparently my twitter feed has forgotten that "it's eye-fucking time" means that Zito is pitching for the Giants. When he pitches at Petco, the eye-fucking causes him to suck and for us to kick his ass. It often works through the tv too but that's a lot harder to do and I'm not sure I'm awake enough for it to be effective today.

Hahahaha in the bottom of the first Pagan limps immediately after the pitch to sell that he got hit then walks perfectly fine to argue with the ump that we as hit. You're dumb. I don't even care that he did get hit. It was a two second difference between limping and walking normal.




Ugh Giants score first with three in the third inning. This game is boring as all hell. Wake up, Padres!! You're putting me back to sleep. Dammit, Gerald!! 5-0 Giants after Posey hits a two run home run in the fifth. In the bottom of the sixth, Blanks attempts to murder the outfield wall and instead it attacks him. His sunglasses busted and I'm calling concussion. No way he slams that hard, head first, into a wall without it happening which is just fantastic because he's finally been healthy and now BAM wall to the face and shoulder. I'm assuming they tested for a concussion as well as did some ROM tests on his shoulder. I'm keeping my fingers crossed it just looked bad and that he's actually fine but I can't convince myself that it's true.

Once Again the Padres get shut out and this just blows. The sweepers become the swept. Waaaaaah.

Record: 5-13

They've Already Lost Their Muchness

Welp, my hope for not starting a losing streak looks to be crushed into pieces, especially if tonight's home plate ump is using the same strike zone as last nights. Clayton was scheduled to start today but instead he decided to puke his brains out and give Cashner his spot. I'm gonna go ahead and say if we have to have Cashner on the team we should use him more like the Reds do with Chapman. Though, I don't want a pitcher with location problems being my closer so yeah, maybe we should just get rid of him in general or put him in the minors until those location problems are solved. For the record, I still don't get why they picked Cashner over Bass for tonight. 

Oh yeah, Ross is on the DL now. Told you, you shouldn't have left him in the game. So with Ross out and Cashner taking over for Clayton tonight, the Padres bring Weber back. Apparently from what Scanlan posted on Facebook, Weber is back in the pen. Hooray for pitchers already getting broken!! At least last season they waited a little longer before missing starts. If Weber is in the pen for long relief, who's going to start in Ross' spot?? I'm going to assume that Clayton will feel better by then and that he will take that spot... and the Padres confirmed my assumption. Maybe I should be the coach, I make logical decisions. 

Well the Padres went down in order to start the game which is shocking since Lincecum is pitching today. Clearly, they forgot that he has been shit lately. I believe the Giants also went down in order to start the game which is shocking since Cashner is pitching today. It's like the third inning already and the games only been on for 38 minutes and I have yet to pay attention to it. I looked up and the bases were loaded and two outs with Chase up to bat. Nothing came out of that, womp, womp. And by my theory last season, a blown bases loaded opportunity is an automatic loss. 

Pablo was apparently tired of the 0-0 game and took matters into his own hands and crushed it for a 2 run home run off Cashner. Great, now can we get Cashner out of the game. Please. We did. Bass came in and is showing why he should be a starter again. The highlight of this game, me legit freaking out because I ran out of syrup on my chocolate chip pancakes. The Padres lose 2-0 and I'm beginning to think the only reason they swept the Dodgers is because we had something to prove after the fight. If that's not the case, then they lost their muchness on the flight.

Record: 5-12

An Offday Screws the Win Streak Yet Again

I'm gonna go ahead and get this out of the way. I'm extremely tired and irritable because I was up until 5 something this morning listening to the Boston Police scanners because of the whole manhunt thing. Let's be honest, that shit was more entertaining to listen to than anything else right now and since the kid just got captured like an hour or so ago, I'm totally regretting staying up so late to listen for nothing. I've had like 6 hours of sleep and don't know how I'm not in zombie mode. By the time the game starts, I will be even more annoyed so I apologize in advance if none of this makes sense or if  there is an unusual amount of "fucks" being thrown around. Also, let's see if last years theory on win streaks and off days stays true.

Padres score first on a Chase sac fly and hopefully we can win with that one run. HA, who am I kidding, Volquez is pitching. That lead will be gone before he records an out. Guess what guys, the Giants have runners on first and second with no outs and Pablo up. Guess what guys, I was wrong. He recorded an out and we are still winning!! Well what do you know, we lost the lead and it only took two outs to do so. Tie game at 1 after 1. Now excuse me while I grab a pillow and take a nap...

So the Giants take the lead now in the third and I'm fighting to stay awake. You guys, this is hard. Since nothing of importance has happened or is happening besides the strike zone being all over the place, I'm gonna go ahead and comment on something they talked about earlier in the game. Ross possibly missing his next start. We all saw Tyson pop his shoulder out and back in again during his start the other day and wondered if he was going to make his next start. Well, today they said his shoulder is still feeling sore and then panned over to show Cashner sitting next to him in the dugout. As they panned to Cashner they announced that it's likely that he will make Tyson's start should Tyson not be able to. I'm not any kind of okay with that. Like I've said before, what good does it do to throw as hard as Cashner can if he can't fucking locate?! The fact that they are so eager to skip over Bass, who has proven himself a starter in the past, is quite stupid. Okay, I'm gonna go back to pretending I give a shit about this game and trying to stay awake.

Chase ties the game at two in the sixth inning but I'm still too sleepy to really care. DAMN!! We ALMOST had a triple play. Had Gyorko's throw to first not bounced, we might have very well had that triple play. I'm not sure what's more amazing, that we aren't losing or that Volquez made it through six. The Giants win walkoff style, 3-2. Gross. Though it was completely expected because we had a win streak going on that got interrupted by an offday. Fuck off days and fuck you very much for continuing to prove my theory correct.
Record: 5- 11